Poll Test

Without a doubt, the quote of the year goes to UW professor of communications John Gastil:  "The reason people go to college is so they can have the arrogance not to read instructions."

"My Our Truth"

I hope no one is surprised that the most pithy comment of the day goes to Wonkette:

We hope that someday it won’t mean much to go on national television and announce, "I am a gay American." Someday, we hope that kind of announcement comes at the beginning of someone’s political career, not the end.

Fish In A Barrel

I think it’s fitting to post this to mark the passing of Henri Cartier-Bresson, who summed up his philosophy of photography thusly: "As De Gaulle used to say, ‘Aim well, shoot fast, and get the hell out.’"

All Your Swing Are Belong To Us

I suppose if this blog has a beat, it’s plumbing the depths of epistemological paranoia and distrust of the Bush Administration, so I imagine I’m expected to weigh in on the report that the Department of Defense Against the Dark Arts Homeland Security is preparing contingency plans for delaying the presidential election in the event of "an Al Qaeda strike."  Making the uncharitable but nonetheless realistic assumption that this contigency planning is primarily motivated by political concerns of the Bushies, I am confident in declaring that no such delay would actually be implemented.

A major terrorist attack on the eve of the election would perfectly suit Rove’s strategy of energizing the Republican base and depressing turnout.  Just as it took years for the political mainstream to question Bush’s competence in possibly preventing 9/11, the immediate aftermath of another atrocity would preclude public consideration that it might demonstrate Bush’s unfitness to be President.  Bush’s constituency consists solely of: 1) Apocalyptic Christians, 2) people who believe Bush has been and will continue to be a good "war president," and 3) people who viscerally loathe Democrats and/or Kerry (Bush also has the support of the plutocrats, but they don’t vote with ballots—they voted with their checkbooks months ago).  In the event that the U.S. is attacked close to the election, it is in Bush’s interest to ensure that the election goes forward; the first two groups of Bush’s base are the least likely to be deterred from going to the polls.  Rather than attempt to win swing voters, Rove would rather they not vote at all, whether out of apathy, disgust, or fear.

This, of course, is the reason the report was publicized; no one who is offended by the thought of postponing elections was planning to vote for Bush anyway, but planting the mere possibility in the public consciousness takes the FUD strategy to the next step.  Expect an orange October and a histrionic World Series.

One unforeseen benefit of this meme is that it allows me to return to my other hobbyhorse, the dire need for electoral reform in this country, all the more appalling in light of what we should have learned from the 2000 election.  Despite such (arguably) more plausible circumstances for suspension of elections as the Civil War and potential nuclear attack, the United States has never truly acknowledged the fragility of this fundamental institution of democracy.  Any serious plan for delaying a national election would necessarily invite discussion of what I originally thought was a necessary response to the 2000 election fiasco (in addition to the thunderingly obvious reform of abolishing the Electoral College): federalizing presidential elections.  In the wake of Diebold, however, I’ve decided that the last thing the presidential election needs is a monoculture.  Teresa Nielsen Hayden has further questions as an exercise for the reader citizen.

"Dick Cheney Could Be President."

Bush helpfully provides the best pro-Kerry slogan yet.

Broken News

Of the many lamentable developments to afflict our nation as a result of 9/11, the dilution/distortion of the term "Breaking News," while not the most depressing, remains among the most annoying.  Its original meaning referred to developing stories, to events that are still happening.  In these days of the 24/7 bottom-screen crawl, the term "Breaking News" (and its garish banner) is applied to any story that news "analysts" are still talking about.

Whatever else one considers the news that President Droolcup has finally repaired to God’s green room, it is certainly not "breaking;" that obit has been in the can since mid-1987.

The Mithraist Candidate

Matthew Yglesias Dares Call It Conspiracy.  Alternative explanations are referred to Bill Ockham.

With Malice Towards None

For most of my life I, like many Americans, was somewhat hazy on the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day.  The best I could come up with was "Memorial Day is for the dead veterans, and Veterans Day is for the live ones."  It was never clear to me whether veterans who survived war but died as civilians qualified for Memorial Day.  Most Americans honor all veterans (and, later, policemen, fireman, and similarly para-military civil servants) on both days, and everyone is satisfied.

Nevertheless, I’ve always held Memorial Day in somewhat lower esteem.  It lets itself be displaced to accommodate the first long weekend of the summer.  It is more readily associated with race cars than with remembrance.  It conspires with Flag Day (a truly idolatrous holiday) to incite stores to display forests of Old Glory for eight weeks prior to Independence Day.  Veterans Day, on the other hand, remains steadfastly on the eleventh day of the eleventh month, is stoically observed in reliably inclement weather, and resists all merchandising strategies.

Veterans Day has its origins, of course, in the end of the First World War, as a poignant post-Victorian gesture of resolve that the worst of the Twentieth Century should have been behind us.  Its nigh-ubiquitous observance in Western nations dampens the embers of nationalistic resentment that are otherwise endemic to war memorials.  As with many other internationalist attachments, the United States was slow to embrace Armistice Day (as November 11th was first called and still remains in Europe), but when we did, we meant it.

It is telling of my relative disregard that only recently did it occur to me to inquire into the origins of Memorial Day.  In so doing, I answered another question I hadn’t realized I had: which holiday is most suited to commemoration of the American Civil War?  When I was a lad in Tucson in the 1970s, every Independence Day the local historical recreation society put on a mock Civil War battle at a nearby park (Arizonans cannot decide whether they look up more to Texas or to Florida, which is reflected in the fact that the Confederacy won approximately two-thirds of the battles).  Despite its proximity to the anniversary of Gettysburg, however, Independence Day is too laced with (multiple flavors of) irony to decorously commemorate the Civil War.

Unlike some other nations, the United States does its best to bury unpleasant chapters of history.  While we may remember and note the dates and events, we do not observe Antietam Day, Vicksburg Day, or Gettysburg Day.  We do not even really celebrate Emancipation Day or Appomattox Day; the former reminds us of promises broken, while the latter constitutes the kind of triumphalism that America, at its best, abjures.

On 05 May 1866, the citizens of Waterloo, New York, closed their shops and decorated the graves of fallen Civil War soldiers in the town cemetery with flowers and wreaths, calling it Decoration Day.  Two years later at Arlington National Cemetery, Retired Major General Jonathan A. Logan proclaimed 30 May to be Memorial Day.  Emphasizing reconciliation, the ceremony honored fallen soldiers from both the Federal and Confederate armies while affirming all of them to be victims of a national tragedy, that nation being the restored Union.

Sadly, many communities in the South continue to observe (on various dates) Confederate Memorial Day.  I consider this practice, like flying the Confederate Battle Flag, to be completely within their rights while nonetheless utterly disgraceful and disrespectful.  Just as I would argue against flying the Stars & Bars over government buildings, I contend that segregating Confederate war dead from the rest of American memorial services obscures the resolution that all Americans should take from any commemoration of the Civil War: that our common humanity and mutual liberty are the noblest causes for which our countrymen may give their lives.

Palme Doh!

The greatest crime in Michael Moore’s award of the Palme d’Or is that it tarnishes the reputation of a festival European glitterati giving that narcissistic moins que rien a standing ovation will only be surpassed when Woody Allen finally decamps for a house in Roman Polanski’s villa.

Of more immediate concern is the damage it does to the anti-Bush (not necessarily Democratic or lefty) movement.  In trying to determine how I can best influence (increasingly hypothetical) swing voters from not voting for Bush in November, I’ve come to the dismaying conclusion that the issue is beyond rational debate.¹  If you’re going to vote for Bush, either you have identified yourself (correctly or not) with the subset of the population that will tangibly benefit from another four years of Bush, or you are operating from within a different epistemology than I am.  Either way, I can’t help you; this is simply not something about which reasonable people can disagree.

The only way that Bush opponents can be effective in creating the conditions for Bush supporters to drop their support is not to shame the movement; don’t give his supporters any reason to be embarrassed to criticize Bush, don’t confirm their prejudices, and don’t indulge in schoolyard taunting.  As shameful as they are, the scandals (Plame, Abu Ghraib, Chalabi) won’t sink Bush; his supporters rationalized them away long ago.  The only to way help our fellow Americans out of the Bush camp is to be more grown-up than Bill O’Reilly and Ann Coulter.  I’m looking at you, Franken.

[1]  Note that, in a pluralistic democracy, this sentiment is the secular equivalent of the Christian sin of despair; it is an abrogation of the civil contract that binds society.  Historically, this degree of apostasy has inevitably led to crime, insurrection, and civil war.  Check back in six months.