It’s Like Mensa, But With Less Self-Deprecating Humor

I read about this a few weeks ago, but I had hoped it would, as its proponents expect of themselves, die a quiet, dignified death.  Now that the post-Raines, pre-Keller New York Times has given it play, we’re probably stuck with it for a few more months.  Considerations of clubs-who-would-have-Groucho-Marx-as-a-member aside, it’s curious that people who ostensibly favor non-abbreviated thought would resort to such ham-handed self-branding.

If non-believers truly are such an oppressed minority, they might better serve their cause by sticking with irony, their first and best killer-app.  I’ve seen alternative suggestions for "doomed," "damned," and (as a kind of back-formation from the expropriation of "gay") "gloomy."  This last captures, I think, the pride in stoicism necessary to distinguishing adamant non-believers, but it lacks a pop-culture cachet to really speed the meme on its way.  I know!  Let’s call them "Eeyores":

"That’s right," said Eeyore.  "Sing.  A-le-le, a-le-loo.  Here we go gathering Nuts and May.  Enjoy yourself."

"I am," said Pooh.

"Some can," said Eeyore.

"Why, what’s the matter?"

"Is anything the matter?"

"You seem so sad, Eeyore."

"Sad?  Why should I be sad?  It’s Easter Sunday.  The most miraculous day of the year."

"Easter Sunday?" said Pooh in great surprise.

"Of course it is.  Can’t you see?  Look at all the miracles I’ve experienced."  He waved a foot from side to side.  "Look at the Risen Christ.  Salvation and life eternal."

Pooh looked—first to the right and then to the left.

"Miracles?" said Pooh.  "Resurrection?" said Pooh.  "Where?"

"Can’t you see them?"

"No," said Pooh.

"Neither can I," said Eeyore.  "Joke," he explained.  "Ha ha!"

Or something like that.

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